I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
