In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
if only i could text you this smell
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
