My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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