The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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