It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
