I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
