did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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