3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
