i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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