i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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