I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
