there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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