What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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