you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
false alarm, still single
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
