Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize