i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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