He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
