so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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