he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
why is half of my head shaved?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
