Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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