You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
