A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's blow job season.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
