I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
