whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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