Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
