Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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