i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
