Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
