I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I stole a fireplace last night.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
