I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize