i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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