look no pants
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
