My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
