It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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