let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
