It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
