he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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