3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
