Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
