I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
