i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
