Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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