this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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