I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
