sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
