wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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