Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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