Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
