so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
