i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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