I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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