We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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