none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Randomize
