SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
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