Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize