I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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