You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
