I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
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