god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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