Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
