GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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