i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
