just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
