last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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