I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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